Welcome to Wild, Wonderful West Virginia: Florida vacation + rain = still better than not being on vacation

So I've lived in Lewisburg for about a month now. Things have definitely settled down compared to my life in Pocahontas. But I'll sum up the last couple weeks for you.
My best friend, Bethanne, came for a visit. We had a lovely time. TOOT (Taste of our Town) was on Saturday and they shut down the main road in Lburg and all the restaurants had samplings of their food. First Friday was also that weekend. Tent City boys don't know how to function without some form of drama, but they performed as Casasanta again and it was pretty good. We also went hiking along the Scenic Highway and saw the Honeycomb Rocks and ate at the Pretty Penny.

My landlord went out of two a couple days after I moved in. She went on a three week safari in South Africa. Oh, to be rich. So I had the house to myself for a bit. It was nice except for her cat....this cat is 17 years old and the loudest thing on the planet. I think that it's vocal cords don't work anymore so instead of meowing like an animal, it scream like a banshee. MMMMMRRRRUUUUUWWANKNSACINEA. Yep. That's what it sounds like. And she doesn't do it once or twice. But ALL THE TIME. She'll just sit in the middle of the living room and think to herself, "Hmm. I'm bored. And I haven't done anything stupid in awhile. What should I do? .....MMMMMRRRRRUWWWANNANAREAJIFNAEVSE. MMMMRRRAIWNICFMIERNSIVRSG. MMMRMWAIISNICASIRVBNRSIHBD."

I miss Cody.

Nothing of great importance happened in the three weeks my landlord was gone. I went to the bar like twice, but because I didn't want to be the weirdo who goes to the bar by herself, I decided to stop doing that. It also doesn't help that I hate meeting new people. If I was a normal person, I might go somewhere by myself and casually strike up a conversation with someone. But me? Aw hell no. I think I scare people. The normal look on my face is a snarl because I hate mankind and everything in society, so people try to avoid me. Also, I've realized I'm an acquired taste. New people don't quite know how to handle me. When I swear like a sailor, drink like a fish, and make fun of everything around me, new people tend to think I'm a "bitch" or "mean" or a "sociopath." When in reality, I'm just a big fucking ray of sunshine!

The last two years, my family has taken vacations. That's a huge freaking deal because we've never done that before. The last two years, we found awesome mountain cabins in the weeks before Christmas. And both years, there has been some disastrous snowstorm/shitstorm. So my bro and sis-in-law decided to hell with the mountains, we need to go somewhere warm. How bout the Keys? Great idea! lol good one.
record breaking 15 inches of rain in 5 days. Seriously. Mother Nature hates the Ramsey family. That is not an opinion. That is a fact.

Also, don't ever go to the Yeager Airport in Charleston West Virginia. They hold you hostage. As in, my flight was supposed to leave WV at 630 AM. I didn't leave WV til 11 AM. So yeah that sucks, but in a legitimate airport, you can eat food, go to the bar, shop, people watch. In the Yeager airport, you can sit on a chair, sit on the floor, stand up.....umm...go back out of security three times to change your flight and then come back through security three times and then everyone in security knows your name, where you're going, your life story, your hopes and dreams. Welcome to my hell. Welcome to my reality.
I'm thinking Yeager airport, that'll be great. Maybe they'll have some jager. Nope. No airport bar. In fact there was only one restaurant: Biscuit World. What is that?! By the time I got hungry enough to actually consider purchasing "food" from Biscuit World, I realized I would not have enough time to go out of security again, buy some food, come back through security and make it to my flight. For the love of God, I never want to fly again.

Finally I get to Florida. But not to the Keys. Just to Miami. And I know what you're thinking: Miami is at the tip of Florida. It can't be that far. Miami is practically in the Keys. No. Wrong. False. Miami is forever hours away from the Keys. Advice: If you ever want to go to the Keys, pay the extra money and fly into Key West. I promise you it's worth it.

We make it to Florida! WOOO! Let's get our vacation on!
Oh wait. It's raining. And it never stops.
Thankfully, inside the house, it was raining wine. And it never stopped. After two and a half days, we had downed 13 bottles. And then we lost track.

Here's some highlights of the trip.